Practice Makes Progess, Not Perfect

Last week, I told you I was kicking my exercise regimen up a notch, so I'm reporting today on how that went. I don't know how things work for you, but I tend to think that if I'm not totally on top of my game, I've failed miserably. This is not the case, of course. But it's how I feel. And it's easier to drop a commitment if I think I've already let myself down. You may feel the same. So I'm going to share my week with you to encourage us both to keep going.

Lights! Camera! Action!

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I was, like most people I knew, not very "active" physically. In fact, taking the stairs at work instead the elevator was pretty much the extent of it. I felt good. I looked okay. I was overweight by thirty pounds, but I saw plenty of people bigger than me. I knew I probably should be more active, but I had no motivation and, frankly, no interest.

Then came The Day, when my doctor said, "I was right. You're diabetic." And when I managed to talk my psyche down off the ceiling long enough to do some homework, it became apparent to me that things were going to have to change. All the information on managing diabetes was telling me to eat less carbs, take my medication, and exercise -- or suffer consequences I did not want to think about.

The Ooops! Factor

I've recently decided to make a shift in the direction of becoming a vegetarian. I've decided not to buy any more meat (not even a can of tuna!) until I finish eating what I already have in my kitchen -- which should be gone in a few weeks, at most. And at the rate I'm moving, I half expect I'll be over the urge to buy meat by then.

I'm reading labels even more intensely than ever. Many of my meals and snacks are vegetarian now, including this morning's breakfast: a peanut butter and banana sandwich on whole wheat toast with two dried dates on the side (one of my personal favorites). I've located my copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being Vegetarian (bought more than a decade ago). I've started scanning my diabetic cookbooks for vegetarian recipes. And I'm scouting Amazon for new cookbooks in case I feel the need.

But while I'm delighted to keep you posted about my progress on this exciting new journey, that's not the point of today's post. Though it's how I came up with the idea.

"The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!"

Therapists call it "catastrophizing" and I used to be really good at it. It means going into a panic about any little thing. A flat tire? That would be good enough to convince me the Universe was crashing. Being unable to find a parking spot? I just knew it was going to cost me my job. Locking my keys in the car would send me over the edge in a New York minute. Spilling a quart of orange juice on the kitchen floor when I'm late for an appointment would make me suicidal. And don't even think about having some restaurant worker overcook my eggs! I could go into a tizzy over anything -- big or small -- and the amount of emotion was pretty much the same. The word had been rubbed right off my panic button a long time ago.

Over the years, I made some progress with not jumping to the conclusion that my life was over every time I had a bad day. But what really helped me get the hang of breathing through minor (or even not so minor) difficulties was being diagnosed with diabetes. All of a sudden, my uncontrolled emotions could -- and generally did -- send my blood glucose levels through the roof. And now, instead of just a flat tire, I was dealing with something that could turn into a real catastrophe.